i am no longer posting here anymore. take care people. goodbye blog

Dreams

alright, i've been having weird dreams for the past week or so. Dreams that i can actually recall vividly. dreams such as flying on a huge digestive cookie with my friends and trying to find a place to find tea to go with the cookie, and another and another. and the last one was....the most unusual of all. I don't know whether to categorize it as a dream come true or a nightmare! here it is:

I dreamed that i had a huge crush on a straight girl, who knew and eventually came up to me telling me that she wants to experiment sexually with me but she won't do it when i'm a lesbian because if it doesn't work out, she doesn't want to leave a mess behind and she would still want to be friends. i asked her what she meant and she said that she found a genie that can grant me one wish and she told me that we could experiment only if i wish i was straight. i woke up just as i was thinking up the pros and cons of all the options i have.

What a dream hey? :S i mean the number one lesbian rule is to not crush on a straight girl (making getting in bed with one the ultimate lesbian want, because naturally you want what you can't have), BUT let's say u have a chance but only when u are naturally straight, would u go for it? come think about it i wouldn't, but i would have if you've asked me a year ago because i was THAT desperate :P

what recent unusual dreams have you been having lately?

good day all! :D

Bed Rock

Song i'm addicted to currently. Here is the song and the lyrics underneath Enjoy! ;):




[Lloyd]
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock

[Lil Wayne]
She Got That Good Good,
She Michael Jackson Bad,
I'm Attracted To Her, For Her Attractive Ass,
And Now We Murderers, Because We Kill Time,
I Knock Her Lights Out, And She Still Shine,
I Hate To See Her Go, But I Love To Watch Her Leave
But I Keep Her Running Back And Forth
Like a Soccer Team
Cold As A Winter Day,
Hot As A Summer's Eve,
Young Money Thieves
Steal Your Love and Leave

[Gudda Gudda]
I Like The Way You Walkin, If You Walking My Way,
I'm That Red Bull, Now Let's Fly Away,
Let's Buy A Place, With All Kind Of Space,
I Let You Be The Judge, N-N And I'm The Case,
I'm Gudda Gudda,
I Put Her Under,
I See Me With Her, No Stevie Wonder,
She Don't Even Wonder, Cauz She Know She Bad,
And I Got Her Nigga,
Grocery Bag.

[Lloyd]
(Okay)
Oh Baby,
I Be Stuck To You,
Like Glue Baby,
Wanna Spend It All On You,
Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock

[Nicki Minaj]
Ok I Get It,
Let Me Think, I Guess It's My Turn,
Maybe It's Time To Put This Pussy On Ya Sideburns,
He Say I'm Bad, He Problly Right,
He Pressing Me Like Button Downs On A Friday Night (Ha-ha),
I'm So Pretty Like,
Be On My Pedal Bike,
Be On My Low Starch,
Be On My Ankle Whites,
He Say Nicki Don't Stop You The Bestest,
And I Just Be Coming Off The Top As Bestes.

[Drake]
I Love Ya Sushi Roll, Hotter Than Wasabi,
I Race For Your Love,
Shake And Bake Ricky Bobby,
I'm At The W, But I Can't Meet You In The Lobby,
Girl I Gotta Watch My Back, Cauz I'm Not Just Anybody,
I Seen Em' Stand In Line, Just To Get Beside Her,
I Let Her See The Aston, And Let The Rest Surprise Her,
That's When We Disappear, You Need GPS To Find Her,
Oh That Was Your Girl?
I Thought I Recognized Her.

[Lloyd]
(Okay)
Oh Baby,
I Be Stuck To You,
Like Glue Baby,
Wanna Spend It All On You,
Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock

[Tyga]
She Like Tanning,
I Like Staying In,
She Like Romancing,
I Like Rolling With Friends,
She Said I'm Caged In,
I Think Her Conscious Is,
She Watching That Oxygen,
I'm Watching ESPN,
But When That Show End,
She All On My Skin,
Lotion,
Double Emotion,
Roller Coasting,
Like Back Forth Hold It.....
She Pose Like It's For Posters,
And I Poke Like I'm Suppose To,
Take This Photo If You For Me,
She Said Don't You Ever Show This,
I'm To Loyal..,
And To Focused..,
To Be Losing..,
And Be Hopeless..,
When I Spoke This,
She Rejoiced It,
Said Your Words Get Me Open,
So I Closed It,
Where Your Clothes Is,
I'm Only Lovin' For The Moment.

[Jae Millz]
Uh
She Ain't Got A Man,
But She's Not Alone,
Miss Independent,
Yea She Got Her Own,
Hey Gorgeous,
Uhmmm,
I Mean Flawless,
Well, That's What U R, How I See It Is How I Call It Yea,
L-Look It How She Walk,
MMHMMM She Know She Bad,
Do-Do Your Thing Baby,
I Ain't Even Mad,
And I Ain't Even Fast,
Imma Stay A While,
Hold Ya Head Chris,
I-Imma Take Her Down.

[Lloyd]
Oh Baby,
I Be Stuck To You,
Like Glue Baby,
Wanna Spend It All On You,
Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
(Lil Wayne)
Gudda Gudda,
T-Streetz
Mack Maine,
Jae Millz,
Tyga,
Drizzy Drake,
Nicki Minaj,
Hey Shanell,
Young Lloyd
OOO, It's YOUNG MULA BABY

:)

WOW! it's been ages! seems like that's my punchline in this blog lol. Nevertheless i haven't forgotten about it, despite the fact that i forgot it's third birthday which passed on december 19th 2009! so HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR BLOG! :** and for all the wishes that i forgot to mention, Happy Eid, Marry Christmas and Happy New Year! LOL :P

well a lot of things happened in 2009. it was one of the most emotionally intense challenging amazing fun wild sad happy craziest years i've ever experienced in my whole life. it's scary how much one can learn in one year. this one was the fastest. i'm excited for 2010! :D alright so i was thinking of writing a list of what i did for the first time in 2009 (again lol :P)

1) get so drunk and pass out and wet a hotel bed. i was passed out for so long that when i woke up it was dry and i couldn't believe my friends when they told me untill i saw the little puddle near the bed. which drink did this? 3 glasses of really really strong graveyard :P good times.

2) go to an amusement while high on alcohol. AWESOME SHIT especially when u go on the wild roller coaster rides.

3) getting a full body massage

4) going brazillian waxing. hurts like a bitch but it's totaly worth it

5) going to a cabaret and see beautiful women dance with subtle strong erotic moves. mmm

6) stay awake for 23 hours straight

7) shave the sides of my head :D

8) give and recieve lapdances

9) kiss a guy (who was a gay bottom, it was like kissing a very girly girl LOL)

10) have a tipsy one night stand (first time i got laid EVER)

11) first time to fail the ALL the subjects in one semester (not really proud of it but it's a first)

12) tried long island tea for the first time



hmmm can't think of any at the moment but i know there is a ton more! what about your list of first timers of 2009? :D

take care everybody!

P.S. this is for all the lovers out there!



I CAN'T BELIEVE LIZZY THE LEZZY VISITED MY BLOG!!!!! *goes nuts* I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! and Ruth u are so damn hot! ;)

so it's been a while. how's everyone doing? hope all is well. happy eid for those who are celebrating.

it's so hard being surrounded by straight people or specificaly, straight girls. i know you might think i complain too much, once i'm away from homophobes i complain about the open minded straight people. i'm not complaining about them really, i'm complaining about me being around them because of the irresistible temptation of crushing on a straight girl. and i'm not the type who can have a one night stand or just know someone and become an item within a few days. i'm the type that gets to know the girl first, spend time with her, know her as a friend, then as a lover and then embrace both together. i know, call it old fashioned but it's really just how i am. which is understandable why i always end up crushing on one of my friends, straight or lesbian. It tends to be more difficult when she's straight :P

i know some people who will be reading will be thinking " AHA! i knew i lesbians just want to sleep with every woman alive" it's not really like that, i mean if we weren't living in a world with so many moral rules :P but men also want to sleep with every woman alive. i have a lot of straight girl friends who are awesome and who i'm not crushing on. it's exactly like having a guy having many friends who are girls, where he ends crushing on one of them. straight girls are lesbians' kryptonight, just like lesbians are the mens kryptonight. hey you can't deny it ain't true. it is the forbidden fruit!!! :P

have a great day people!

I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby! By 3OH!3

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG. it's the song of the moment. the song that keeps playing in my head. other than their other song "Don't Trust Me" which i love except the part where they go "Shush girl, shut your lips, do the Hellen Keller, and talk with you hips" because they are telling the girl to shut up and not see. Hellen Keller was the first deafblind author in history. not pretty when u know what they are talking about hey? BUT WE AIN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT SONG! :P for now it's

I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND BABY!
I AIN'T YOU CUTE LIL SEX TOY!
I AM NOT YOUR LION OR YOUR TIGER!
WON'T BE YOUR NASTY LIL BOY!
I'M NOT YOU BOYFRIEND BABY
I CAN'T GRANT YOUR EVERY WISH!
I'M NOT YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR!
SO I JUST LEAVE YOU WITH THIS KISS! *MWAH!*

am feeling so fucking euphoric right now under no influence except my own naturally made endorphines and it feels fucking AWESOME!

here's the song XD XD XD XD

Tranquility

I feel cleansed. no weed for over three weeks. no alcohol for over a month and a half. :) i feel content. weed is beautiful, except that it takes over your life. i get always pull out before i get too attached to something because i have an addictive,obsessive type personality when it comes to things. Alcohol is nice too in the safe environment. if i like something i like it for life. i have saved A LOT of money the past month and a half just by quitting drinking for now....all i can say is i love the taste of achievement. :D

Songs of the moment

In the Shadows - The Rasmus
I Know You Want Me - Pitbull
Radio/Video - System of a Down
You Promised Me - In-Grid
Fall In Love - D'banj
Takin' Back My Love - Enrique Iglesias feat. Ciara
Telepopmusik - Breathe (2003 Version)
Telepopmusik - Breathe
Latika's Theme - Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack
Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park
Is this Love - Bob Marley

very the random. i know :D

so it's been a while. am feeling a bit better. beginnings of things always leave me feeling reset. like resetting ur laptop, computer, ps2 u name it. it makes me feel reset. and that's good.

completely random: uni life is awesome. i can't believe first year is almost ending!

i think i'm depressed. and i think i'm entering a very long phase of depression, the type that gets dorment and buried. i do not know why. all i know is that i am not happy at this point in my life..... so i might stop blogging for a period of time. if i get the urge to blog i will. but for now, toodles.

Do That Pussy Right....

i just got up... mid wet dream.. to find my self squeezing and caressing one of the legs of my stuffed animal, the way i would on a woman's breasts..
i can't remember what the dream was. or who was in it.
all i know is i woke up doing that.
which just shows that I NEED GODDAMN HOT, STEAMING, BED-CREAKING SEX!

i so believe that your dreams are what you subconsciously want in your life.

song of the moment:

Lick It (Explicit) by God-des and She.

numb. depressed. hopeful. horny. robot. heartless. doubtful. confused. disoriented. undecided. lazy. happy. illusioned. submissive. vulnerable. flamboyant. outrageous. angry. shy. jealous. self-deprecated. lifeless. loveless. dissapointed. burdened. lost. burned. lier. ecstatic. delusional. aimless. sorry. miserable. melancholic. promise-breaker. pothead. alcoholic. smoke breath. random thoughts. how i feel. yesterday. today. and most probably. tomorrow.


current playlist on replay:
All Is Full Of Love -Bjork
Hello - Evanesence
Moan - Trentemoller feat Ane Trolle
Let It Die - Feist
Roads - Portishead
Whether You Fall - Tracy Bonham

Season 6 of the L Word....

..was disappointing in so many ways. Yet still enjoyable. My favorite episode of all time would be the 3rd episode from season 6.

So now the L Word is finally finished. And there will be a spinoff of it called The Farm, where a few characters of the L word would be in to make another different type of series. I don't know if i want to watch it or not, since I've been disappointed by the final season of the L word. Maybe a years worth of waiting might change my mind. Untill then, maybe another lesbian packed tv series might come up (not Gimme Sugar THAT SUCKED LIKE HELL).

Getting Over People

It's a funny feeling to be friends with an ex you never quiet completely got over. It's calming, in the sense that she is still back in your life. Because you both have this very strong connection that worked perfect when in a romantic relationship and works perfect in a friendship as well.

I've figured out how i get over people. At first i thought it was my way of dealing with crushes but it just hit me that it's "my way" of getting over people. It's not going and finding someone new, or having a one night stand, or sending them hate mails, smses etc. (maybe like a one time thing, not everyday), not revenge.

It's actually rubbing it in my face that does it. It worked on the 2 crushes i had before my last relationship, where i kept crushing on her till i told her, and when she told me it won't work (happened to both cases) and asked if she should disappear, i told her no. and talked to her and acted like i had nothing for her and just let time pass till one day it's completely gone and it's back to normal friendship again. It's a lot harder to do if you were actually in a relationship with her, because i would need that time alone first, and then go to being friends, and slowly but surely get over her as a lover and embrace her as a friend. This finally feels right :)

So It's Valentine's Day

and the whole world is painted red. i guess one doesn't feel the atmosphere of valentine's while living in saudi (except of course saudi crazed men and women in the streets and car races and malls and underground parties but u'll need contacts for that) as much as when one gets out of it.

i'll be experiencing valentine's day the same way i've experienced it the past 18 years of my life: alone. and it never really got to me till i realized that it's such a commercialised deal out in the world, which eventually gets to u which leaves u with to things, to deal with it or continue to let it get to you.

i never let it get to me since i never really felt the feeling of being in and out of love with a woman until very recently. so for 17 years i never gave a fuck. now it's getting to me and i'm not going to do my usual routine of staying at home, eating chocolate and lying down in bed with nothing to do for hours to no end whenever something got to me. i'm going clubbing. and the everyone i know who is going, is single. Graveyard baby here i come! ;)